Independance by Angelina

This is a blog I wrote about 2,5 years ago.

A while ago I was told by my brother in law that it was a disgrace that I work part-time while I am married and have 2 sons at school age. According to him a wife and mother should be always at home to take care of her husband and children. I was shocked he said this in my face. I told him that if he wanted his wife to be that way then go ahead, but I am perfectly happy with my family life and my job and I am not planning to change it. This made me think of the position of girls/women in our society.

Education is just as important for girls as it is for boys. It contributes to the personal development, knowledge about culture and provides the knowledge and skills children need in society when they grow up. It also helps to build self-confidence. Both boys as well as girls are an important part of society.

From the time I was a little girl my parents taught my brother and me that it is important to get a good education and learn the skills to take care of ourselves no matter what your gender is. They did not treat me any different than my brother and told us a girl had to learn the same things as a boy and get a good education. They wanted for me to become an independent woman who can accomplish just as much as a man.

My brother in law's remark about the position of women after marriage also made me think about what marriage means. In my opinion marriage should be about being equals, not about the woman�s life being changed forever into a homemaker while the man continues almost as before marriage. She is not on this world to just be a maid and warm the bed. Why not give a woman the choice about how she wants to fill in her life after marriage? Treat her as an equal instead of forcing her into a life she may not want. If a woman wants to stop working or can�t combine working and having a family she should stay at home by her choice. But why throw away a good education and years of hard work? What would the point even be to get an education if you know you will not ever use it again after marriage?

It is possible to be married, have children and both have jobs. I have a degree and my husband and I both work part-time. We support each other and both take care of our kids. I think it even makes the relationship between my husband and our kids stronger. He has time to just play with them and be a father to them not just in the weekend. My children are happy with how things work out in our household.

Working both as a couple also gives more financial stability in the economical state we are in. So many people lose their jobs and get in big problems if they can�t find another job. If one of the working couple loses its job, the other still has a job while if the man only works all the problems are much bigger. Also it gives the man more time to spend with his family instead of always working to put bread on the table. Also when the man is not there anymore, the woman has at least a better way of taking care of her family without having to depend fully on others.

For me it is important that if the situation ever calls for it, I can be totally independent and take care of my children and myself without the help of others. The remark of my brother in law made me feel even more privileged that I was able to get a good education and do the things I love.

"My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no one�s doing but my own. I am the force. I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice. My responsibility. Win or lose; only I hold the key to my destiny."


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Avatar Posted : 70 wks ago


'PoZitive VibeZ BabieZ'

Great Share Angelina,
I was grown up with same values from my parents, smart wise people they were.

When I married and had my daugther, I was a stay at home mom, I loved every second of being a full time mommy, she started the 1st grade and I decided it was time and then went to work part time and LOVED IT, I worked it into her school schedule and I have been a full force ever since...
I was also taught that you need to be prepared to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else, be it alone or with someone else...
My story ended, but was started (a new) with taking care of my daughter from the age of 10 alone, she is now 24, strong, beautiful and has a 4 month old  son who is the light of my life with a man who is with her every step along the way!
She Thanks me quite often for the strong independant open heart I gave her and calls me her HERO!
Those are the best words anyone has ever spoken to me...

Your life is your life and sounds pretty good to me...
I have learned, when people are unhappy with their situation what ever it may be, they tend to be ugly with others, chances are your brother in law to the heart really wants what you and your husband have as a strong family unit!

Your Quote Says:
"No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent"

"My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no one�s doing but my own. I am the force. I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice. My responsibility. Win or lose; only I hold the key to my destiny."

I could not have said that better,
Thank You Very Much & Always Stay Happy

Avatar Posted : 70 wks ago


Faith , Trust & FairyDust

Avatar Posted : 70 wks ago



Sounds like your brother in law had some serious mommy issues!

It is not an easy decision for any mother to make when that time comes and you definitely need a supportive spouse to make any decision work.

My wife chose to stay home to nurture and raise our three children, if anyone ever asked 'the question' - 'what does your wife do?' My response was always - She's the Manager of Household Affairs at [insert family name] Family Enterprises.

That may sound glib but I truly believe that her job was just as stressful and demanding as any other career option would have been, perhaps even greater than some.

I'm NOT saying that this is what all women should do. This was the choice that we made together and it is what worked for us. If circumstances had been different and she had wanted to go back to work then we would have made the necessary adjustments to make that work.

Avatar Posted : 70 wks ago


'PoZitive VibeZ BabieZ'

Thank You for the share, Rogue56 :cool
I like (Manager of Household Affairs at [insert family name] Family Enterprises.)
A job description (title) like no other  :clap :clap
BRAVO and great words spoken from a Good Man! :smile  
ALL Women who make the choice to be the Manager of Household Affairs should have a partner like YOU! :cool

Avatar Posted : 70 wks ago


Well written. Sad to read that there are still people living in the middle ages

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